Wednesday, July 18, 2012

How To Avoid An Angry Mob

Uh-oh. Hes wearing a red shirt
    Are ye one of the unlucky lads the is always getting yeself(?) into trouble?
Here are some tips for ye!

1. Try to store ye pitchfork, torch, and green robes somewhere near a turn about.. You can run out of sight of the mob and change, then pretend to be one with the mob and hide right under their noses!
2. Try to make merry with the local bartender. Give him a large tip or the like, and if the deed is merry enough, he will hide ye from thy followers.
3. Visit ye local alchemist and request a special mixture. Pay him extra to keep it secret. Ye must request a special mixture of:
   3 hand of water, heated of the fire
   2 length of smooth rock, mixed into fine powder
   4 bowls of  damp mud from ye swamplands.
When yonder ingrediants are mixed in the proper order, it will create a substance called "Conkreet".
No ye must ask also ye local smithy to make ye a dome, as tall as ye are wide twice over. Ye must request ye smithy to then pound it with his hammer in various locations, causing yonder sphere to become rough.
When ye alchemist is done and ye smithy is done, ye may coat the underside of ye dome with ye Conkreet, making sure to leave plenty of room in thy dome.
Leave the mixture for twenty days, and then you shall take it out of ye dome-mold, and place it on the side of high-road. When yonder mob is chasing ye, ye must simply hide in thy dome until yonder mob is passed, and they will take no notice, as they ponder it is large boulder, and probably cursed.
4. Try to talk ye king or other ruler into banning mobs. Be sure to make merry with him, and make many-a-compliment about his kingly beard. (Ye kings love thy beard-themed compliments!) He will grant ye request and ye mobsters will mob ye no more.
5. Ye should try to avoid inciting the wrath of thy mobsters in thy beginning. One would think a lad as clever as ye would have thought if this by now!

Cross your fingers and hope that auto-update works, as I wont be here to manually update...

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